Oh, the dreaded IEP meeting! You are outnumbered, anxious, and just plain stressed out. IEP meetings can be difficult, but there are some things you can do to increase your chance of success and reduce stress.
Tip #1: Be Prepared
First, and foremost, you need to understand your rights. Consulting with an advocate or attorney can be helpful in this regard. There are also numerous online resources with helpful information for parents. I highly recommend Wrightslaw and Understood. Both sites are very user-friendly and do a good job of explaining the IEP process. Having a basic understanding of your rights and the school’s responsibilities to your child, is crucial. Do not rely on school personnel to explain your rights and their responsibilities.
Second, collect data. Parents are key members of the IEP team, and their input should be encouraged. Whether this is your first IEP meeting or just one of many, you should be collecting data regarding your student’s present levels of achievement. Is your child meeting his/her goals? What part of the IEP is working? Are there services or accommodations that aren’t working? Is there anything new that should be included or any part of the IEP that needs to be revised? The bottom line is, you should be keeping track of your child’s progress so that you can share with the IEP team. I recommend keeping a diary of sorts, noting how your child’s day went, any successes, or any issues that may need to be addressed. Simply jot down a few notes each day, so you can see if there are any patterns that emerge.
Finally, share your data with the IEP team in advance of the IEP meeting. IEP meetings are not the place to play “hide the ball.” The best way to share your data with the team, and set the tone of the meeting, is through a “Parent Agenda.” It will help you organize your own thoughts and help make sure you don’t forget any items you want addressed. It need not be anything elaborate, but it should set forth a detailed list of what is working and what isn’t, your concerns for the school year, your child’s present levels of performance (from your perspective), and identify what you want for your child. Send your agenda to the IEP team prior to the meeting, so that everyone is on the same page. Then, use your agenda to manage the flow of the meeting.
Tip #2: Be Professional
Maintaining a professional demeanor during IEP meetings can be easier said than done. Often parents are stressed, frustrated, and scared. They want to get their children the help they need but sometimes don’t understand the process. Parents are emotionally invested in their child’s development, as they should be! But emotions should be left at the door. Take your “parent” hat off and put on your “advocate” hat.
Maintaining professionalism in the IEP meeting goes a long way toward furthering your goals. It also may help parents address issues that come up during the meeting more objectively. You always want to maintain your credibility, and you may need it down the road should a Due Process Complaint need to be filed. Yelling, name-calling, or crying hysterically do not not help your cause. Do your best to keep your emotions in check and stay calm. I know this is easier said than done; I’ve been there myself. If you feel you need extra support during the meeting, bring a support person with you. It could be a family member, a close friend, service professional, or advocate. Bring whomever you need to make you feel more comfortable.
Tip #3: Be Persistent
Your child’s IEP must include a plan to meet all your child’s needs related to his/her disability. At a minimum, the IEP should set forth precisely what your school will do to address your child’s needs and what objective measures will be used to determine whether the IEP is working. If you don’t understand what is being proposed or how it will help your child or how it will be measured, ask for clarification. If you don’t receive specific details of how a service will be implemented, ask for specifics. Be persistent and press the school to provide specific answers to your questions.
Also, don’t be afraid to negotiate. You do not have to accept whatever terms the school proposes. The school can propose whatever it wants…but so can you. Ask for what you want. An IEP should be tailored to your child’s individual needs. If the services or accommodations proposed do not address your child’s individual needs, propose something else that you think will address your child’s needs. Remember, this should be a collaborative process, freely sharing ideas and potential solutions, and communication goes both ways.
If you don’t have enough time in the meeting to get all your questions answered and your child’s needs addressed, it is ok to table the discussion and resume at a later date. Don’t feel rushed into accepting a plan that doesn’t meet your child’s individual needs or that you don’t understand. If you need more time, be sure to request a further meeting in writing. Better yet, have the IEP team pull out their planners and select a date and time before the meeting adjourns.
IEP meetings can be stressful and overwhelming, but they don’t need to be. If you need help preparing for your child’s next IEP meeting, schedule a 30-minute consultation to see how I can help you.
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